Gambit's Diagnosis

So we found out today that Gambit, our 12-year-old Doberman/Greyhound cross has a malignant fibro sarcoma, making him the second sarcoma patient in the house. He had surgery a week ago to remove a big growth, and the lab results came back, so we just have to keep an eye on him. The vet is not sure if he got the whole thing or if it will grow, and at his age and with a slow-growing tumor acccording to the vetthings could be just fine. I hope he has to get less treatment than I do!

I had chemo today and found out that the shot I've been getting every cycle to promote red blood cells has not been doing all it could, so I am scheduled for a blood transfusion on Thursday. This process takes 2-3 hours, they tell me, and I am already getting a CT scan that morning, so it looks like I have to miss another day of work. I ahte constantly missing time, but I don't really see what the alternative is, so I'm glad work is working with me so far!

After finding out about the transfusion it occurred to me that perhaps I'm a bit sicker than I feel/act/realize. I make this statement not for sympathy but because I guess I don't feel as sick as the terminology warrants - "transfusions" and Stage IV terminal cancer" don't feel like they apply to me, that's all. Those are things for REALLY sick people, right? I don't have pain from the cancer, just from the treatments sometimes, and am mostly tired - how can this be as bad as all that? Am I in denial? Can I just not be bothered with the doom and gloom? I want to be realistic but I just don't feel as bad as all of that. I see some pretty sick people when I go for treatments, and they are still fighting and moving forward, so it seems like a no-brainer that I would be doing at least as much or more than they can towards getting better, so how can we lose? Well, denial or not, still no plans to cave in anytime soon, so I guess you are stuck with my yammering for now!