Saturday, January 10, 2009

A Whole New Kind of Tired

Well, here I am on day 5 after the beginning of this chemo cycle, and I managed to push back the Big Tired till today, since I had to work yesterday. I got pooped out around 11 yesterday, but got through the day alright. I guess I didn't realize how much the dermatologist's prednisone was helping with my energy levels, since I was taking it before I started chemo. Now that the dosage is reduced to 10 mg every other day the chemo is really catching up after day 4.

The tired is different, too, than anything I've experienced before. I've been exhausted from physical exertion, maybe a bit achy, but you can feel yourself getting stronger when you rest, and I've been stressed and mentally exhausted, both where you are too exhauysted to sleep and when you can't stop yourself from sleeping. I've been so tired that it feels like your body is melting into the bed when you hop in to get some sleep, but this is a whole new tired.

It's like you feel yourself (me, at least) get a little cranky, then all of a sudden you hit a wall. It's almost like my brain shuts off and just won't compute the next step to take. I had a meeting today and barely made it through, which was a shame since I wanted to participate in the after-meeting lunch, but it was all I could do to get home and take a long nap. Even now I could still be asleep, but with limited time to accomplish stuff now I have to make sure I get a bit done here and a bit done there. I thin it's the best way to stave off the tiredness. It's just so different on chemo weeks and non-chemo weeks, and I haven't mastered any balance or learned enough tricks yet. I'm sure they'll come in time, just need to experiment more.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Heather,
    You don't know me but I am a friend of your mom's in southern california. I have had two bouts with breast cancer and have shared some of the books that have helped me in this last bout with your mom. I have loved reading your blog, you are certainly one of the Exceptional Patients (Bernie Seegle). You are really looking at your cancer experience as a challenge that can be met and you will win. You are a wonderful writer and II smile when read your words of frustration, tears, coping and joy, I too have been there. You have the hope and determination to beat this. I do thank my cancer for coming into my life and showing me a new way to live. Your thoughts on Patrcik Swazye were right on. He is also a very angry person which won't help him win his battle. I beleive that it isn't just one thing that cures us from cancer it is the whole mind/body/spirit trilogy that heals us. Unless we addres all three it will come back, it did for me.
    Keep writing those wonderful blogs and keep taking care of your self and you're going to be writing the next best seller on how you won the battle with cancer.
    Hugs and love to you Heather you are a wonderful role model.
    Joanie Scott