Saturday, December 27, 2008

A Bit Adrift

So I have no chemo or oncologist appointment until January 5th, and it's odd to say I feel a bit adrift. Things have been going at such a breakneck pace, and here are two weeks with virtually nothing in the way of doctors at all. We are switching from Thursday chemo to Mondays so I can see the oncologist the same day/visit, so I have no appointments other than the dermatologist next week until after the New Year. Full disclosure: The dermatologist will be biopsying what appears to be a basal cell carcinoma on my chin, so I may have to have a tiny bit of plastic surgery there. It can take a year to get a derm appointment in Richmond for some reason, so its a good thing I got this rash since I was able to get a new dermatologist within a day of surgery, otherwise who knows how big the patch could have gotten before anyone could see me.

It seems that I have been guided along so far and now have this time that seems very long stretching out in front of me. I plan on working on my vision board and of course am constantly striving to eat as healthly as possible and get some exercise in each day, but it seems that I should be reaching further. People remind me to just relax and work on healing and rebuilding my strength, after all that is the purpose of cycling through chemo, however I feel like something more should be happening.

Scott has encouraged me to look into cancer support groups so that I can connect with others who are going through what I am locally. So many have offered wisdom and support of their experiences, and I know there is always more to learn. For example a resource book Scott recently got me mentions that day four after chemo is typically the worst. I had experienced this, but was confused because it seems counterintuitive. Knowing it's common makes coping easier and its the type of info you wish you knew up front. I know there are many more pearls out there for the asking, I just need to find my way to them. I think that will be this weekend's task: find people like me, near me, and get connected.

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