Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Reaching the Next Bar

Hi everyone, this is Heather's husband Scott. I am here making this entry for Heather because she is unable to. We lost her to bigger and better things ahead for her last night (4-14-9) around 5:45 p.m.. (she never did like tax day and found a great way to avoid it wouldn't you know) I want everyone of you to know that she appreciated your support in everyway that you provided it. She was the strongest woman that I have ever known, there was no obsticle that she wouldn't tackle and conquer. I have not only lost my wife, but my best friend, and confidant. She was my mentor and inspiration, she pushed and prodded me to do things that I didn't know that I was capable of doing. That part of her spirit will alway burn hot in my soul and help me to continue. She was strength and inspiration to many and those that she met she left a lasting impact on. No one will forget her that has ever met her. I hope that through her blog maybe she has also given strength to others, maybe a smile or two. She was just that way and is probably looking down on me as I type pointing out my gramatical errors and correcting my spelling with her hand on my shoulder and chuckling in my ear how goofy I am rambling on. To show just how much of a fighter she was one of her last statements when helping her adjust in her bed was "help me reach the bar". I don't think anyone really understood what she was saying but in my heart I know that she was ready to move on and tackle and conquer her next goal. I was fortunate enough to be there and hold her as she moved on with her mother. My parents arrived in Richmond a few hours after she passed and spent time in the room with her as she lay there looking as if she was a sleep minus the snoring. As you have read nothing with her illness was ever standard or simple and like her was very unique to the point that when we went with her to the morgue, that the transporters key cards would not work to open the doors again her way have having the last laugh.

She was concerned that no one would remember her but that is something that I believe is far from being true. How could you ever forget the twinkle in her eyes, that cocky little smirk or the warmth that she brought when ever she entered a room. Her pressence was enormous. She had one hell of a voice that can be attested to by anyone that heard it. She had an insatiable thirst for knowledge, the love that she had for our dogs was without measure and was always looking to find ways to making herself, me, us better as individuals and a couple. I feel that Heather knew that her time was nearing but didn't want to let on and worry us, thats just how she IS. Her main concern was who would continue her blog once she had moved. Though it might not be on regular basis, her mother and I will pick up the torch and keep her fire bright. Do not mourn for her but celebrate her. When her mother my parents and I came home last night we did not mourn her. We celebrated her with a toast of champage and watching the results show of Dancing With The Stars. (she would have been so happy that Steve-O was eliminated lol) I wish you all to do the same, have a chai and smile, pet a dog, sing a song, REACH FOR THAT NEXT BAR!

There are no arrangements yet made for memorial services but for those who would like to be informed please send contact information to me at please submit the Pink Leopard in the subject line. There is one request that Heather had, that in lieu of sending flowers please make a donation to charities that deal with animal shelters or children (always thinking of those who could not defend or speak for themselves).

Thank you for following and helping her.



  1. I miss you wife, the kids are still looking for you with wagging tails. Jubilee senses and comforts us each before we know it.

    I love you forever


  2. Heather there's such a hole in my heart.... I can't wrap my mind around you not being anymore. You are utterly and completly unforgetable which makes this all the more cruel and devastating. All of us who love you will have to find some way to cope without your hearty laugh in our lives...... There aren't enugh tissues in the world to dry the rivers of tears for you....

  3. Brother, anyone who could keep you in line the way Heather did is a force with whom to be reckoned!

    The fact is that I did not know Heather all that well. But, there are a few things I do know. Heather and Scott loved each other very much. I'm sure they had their difficulties, like all couples, but, from what I could see, they made each other happy. Most importantly, they helped each other become better people. After all, what more could one ask for from a relationship?

    When facing the challenges that Heather and Scott did, there are always questions. Would they retreat from the world in self-pity? Would they become bitter and resentful? Would they let the challenge come between them? Without a doubt, their answer to these questions is an emphatic “No”.

    Scott and Heather have given us a powerful example of how to face the most difficult of circumstances. They displayed the strength and dignity that I suspect we all hope that we could muster. They have answered the most important question in life, that is, how to live, and in doing so given us a wonderful gift of their example. The only question that remains is, how will we respond to their gift?

    Love to you both, Scott and Heather.

    James, Sue, Hannah and Ethan

    I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith – 2 Timothy 4:7

    May Heather's soul and all the souls of the faithful departed rest in peace. Amen.

  4. Hi Scott, I knew Heather on long time ago when were kids in CDM. I have been following Heather's journey on her blog. She was so articulate, trusting and humorous in the sharing of her journey to survive her illness. I'm so sad and so sorry to hear of her passing. Reading her blog, the word that came to mind is HOPE. I was so hopeful for her survival. Her optimism gave me hope for better things to come. I had been so optimistic and hopeful for Heather to pull through and survive her cancer. I have been very upset that someone so special could be taken in such a terrible way. Are we better for it? Was it her challenge or, yours (ours)? Maybe both. While I do believe that there is a God (I also believe in evolution and ET's), I wonder about the grand plan. Why do the good suffer while the bad seem to create suffering? May we all appreciate being on this earth every minute that goes by. Once again we are reminded: Enjoy life like everyday is your last, it just may be. My condolences go out to you and both families.

    Loss and possession, death and life are one, There falls no shadow where there shines no sun.
    Hilaire Belloc

  5. I can not begin to express my sorrow at Heather's passing.

    I feel blessed to have known her.

    I knew Heather for 11 years and even though we let some silly fight separate us for 2 years, I am so glad that we were able to spend time together these last few months. When I spoke to Heather after I learned of her illness, her first words to me were "Oh hi Mitch, it's your asshole ex-friend" and she laughed. We talked for 2 hours that night and it was like no time had ever separated us. I could tell that in the time that had passed that Heather had grown a lot emotionally. She was more open and receptive to all the love that people wanted to give her.

    I was able to visit with Heather on Sunday and spoke with her Tuesday morning. Her biggest concern was Scott. She loved Scott so much and she was very concerned about how he would be after she was gone. We talked about the bills she could stop paying because Scott wasn’t on them (always the budget master lol), we talked about when she would come home and how she would set up the living room with her hospital bed so she could still be in the middle of everything. I’m glad that I had that time with her this week, to hug her, to tell her I loved her and to make her laugh. For those of you that can wonder what we may have laughed at, Heather and I have the same morbid sense of humor. We could always find something funny to laugh about even if someone else thought it was inappropriate 

    I have this “Best Friend” pendant that Heather gave me a few years ago and yesterday I kept that around my wrist, just to feel that little piece of her and how we felt about each other with me. I spent the day remembering some of the things Heather and I did. How we used to watch Buffy together on TV, like 2 teenagers, just watching the show from our respective houses and taking about what happened during commercial breaks. The books we liked to read and trade to each other. The stars we thought were hot, lol. She helped me grow as a person and I will always remember her and she will always be with me.

    Michelle B.

  6. Times like these you should know there are people out there that have been watching her story, going through her journey with her. I speak for those who do not make comments, yet have been touched by her life and her story. You are in our thoughts and in our prayers, may peace be with you and your families.